Usually I write about political stuff. Or serious things. But stay with me. This is really a serious article about male machismo among investment bankers, and how far that will take them, impacting the entire Internet.

    By this time, it would appear that most of the world has watched the forbidden video of wildly popular Brazilian MTV host Daniela Cicarelli, 27, a triathlete and model, former soccer legend Ronaldinho's wife and her lover, Merrill Lynch & Co. banker Renato Malzoni Filho, or as he is called in Brazil, "Tato Malzoni," 33.

    The reason the world has watched is because the couple managed to get a Brazilian judge to issue an injunction against U.S. based YouTube, forcing the company to block the video. Which, of course, made the video an overnight sensation.

    And the ban didn't really help, since the video popped up on other sites, such as this one:

    {mgmediabot}images/stories/video/cicarelli.flv|false|400|300{/mgmediabot}

    Of course, the combination of a triathlete model unwillingly staring in her own steamy beach video with her playboy boyfriend, going all the way Pamela Anderson-style, was reason enough for the allure.

    But I don't think that was the reason for investment banker Malzoni's decision to try to stop the video. Remember, he is a macho guy in a very macho country.

    Bloomberg News reports that Brazilian gossip columnist Ricardo Boechat said, "As long as the bank doesn't complain, who in their right mind is going to hold the fact that he has made love to a beautiful woman against him."

    Exactly. After all, the investment bankers call themselves, "big swinging d–ks," an expression made famous by Michael Lewis in Liar's Poker, published in 1989.

    And that may be crux in this matter. Mr. Malzoni is probably very proud of his latest conquest, since Brazilian magazines have made it a sport to photograph him with various beautiful women.

    But, while Ms. Cicarelli looks rather hot in the video, her lover looks anything but.

    The pathetic, speedo-style green swimming shorts he is wearing in the video are outright dorky. And his attempt to literally put some kelp into them, presumably to bolster his manhood, doesn't make the situation any better.

    For Merrill Lynch to have a trader forced to put kelp into his pants would appear to be somewhat embarrassing, considering the reputation they are trying to foster as big swinging–well, you get it.

    And that is probably what prompted the attempt to get the video off the air. The pants and the sea kelp. Not the sex.

    After all, it is noteworthy that the lawyer making the petition to the court to get the video off the air represented both Cicarelli and Malzoni in the first case, when they won the order to have the links taken down, however, Malzoni then decided to go forward alone with the second case, seeking to ban YouTube in Brazil, after the video kept reappearing.

    For some reason Cicarelli didn't seem so eager to participate in the legal spectacle anymore. And who can blame her? This is publicity she couldn't have bought for money. So there is not just a political lesson about investment bankers' ego in this story, but also a marketing lesson.

    It's all associated with his skimpy little pants, filled with kelp, quite clearly. Because it couldn't be the act.

    According to Bloomberg News, "Flavio Datz, a trader at AgoraSenior, Brazil's largest stock brokerage, whose office looks out over some of Rio's most beautiful beaches, said Brazilians love gossip and scandal but are reluctant to hold any of it against people."

    "I don't think either of them have done anything wrong — having sex on the beach is common," he said. "At the same time, brother, everybody knows that you don't have any privacy on the beach."

    And of course this couple must have known such a simple fact, especially considering that she is an MTV host and super model. And he is Brazil's investment-banker-playboy, known for your you-know-what.

    In the end, what this story shows is this: Don't get caught with kelp in your pants, at least not if you work for Merrill Lynch & Co. And if you do, try to get a lawyer to ban YouTube from an entire country. That way you can show who is the big swinging d–k. And stop your friends from laughing.

    Peter Rost, M.D., is a former Vice President of Pfizer. He is the author of "The Whistleblower, Confessions of a Healthcare Hitman." He also writes the daily Dr. Peter Rost blog.

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    • Show Comments (13)

    • adam

      cool
      I agree with Good PR [i]This will enhance both their careers. [/i]

    • Grunt

      idiot!
      [quote]”NO BANKER WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HIS LIFE EXPOSED LIKE THIS”[/quote]

      SO DONÀ‚´T FUCK ON A PUBLIC BEACH THEN! Jesus, you folks are thick.

    • JOSH

      THE ISSUE HERE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MODEL .I REALLY THING THAT IF ANY OF YOU HAD A VIDEO LIKE THIS EXPOSED IN THE NET, YOU WOULD ALSO TRY TO STOP IT, SO THAT’S WHAT THE GIRL’S BOYFRIEND IS DOING. THE GUY IS A MERRILL BANKER AND I’M SURE THAT EVEN IN BRAZIL THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A “MACHO” COUNTRY (AS MR. HOST SAID. DESPITE HE PROBABLY DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FIND BRAZIL IN THE MAP) NO BANKER WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HIS LIFE EXPOSED LIKE THIS,

    • Simon

      Good PR
      This will enhance both their careers.
      But really there is NO CLASS in this at all.
      cheapsh*t.

    • Eduardo

      Sex, lies and videotapes
      Why the fuzz about having sex and why the censorship if it was in a public place

    • bo

      Well, according to “A Brazilian”, the press here in brazil is more free than in most other places in the world. This censorship is absurd!! And one can equate this to the governments of China and those in the middle east that “censor” their media as well as internet access within their countries.

      This is so absurd it leaves me speechless, but unfortunately I can’t say that I’m surprised!!

    • grunt

      Local judges are a problem
      Alltheway and Stephen, you both have raised an exceptional point here, and one that that is not lost on the more intelligent side of the Brazilian population. The couple were in PUBLIC (charges of public indecency SHOULD be more applicable here), and as far as I know, filming anyone in a public place is not illegal, OR, none of the paparazzi images that frequent sites like terra.com.br or A GENTE could be published. What was the name of that Brazilian novela actress who appeared the same week as Britney À¢€œsem calcinhasÀ¢€Â?

      This law will be struck down when it gets to a higher court with a judge that actually knows about the constitution (like the issue with the American pilots and their passports), but it will take time. Frighteningly enough, it goes to show you the À¢€œlopsided powerÀ¢€Â, once again, given to local judges. They can demand passports withheld, the fingerprinting of foreigners, and now the banning of one of the most popular sites on-line on a simple personal whim, and it usually takes a higher court to raise actual LEGAL issues.

      Judges like this need to be investigatedÀ¢€¦.IÀ¢€™m sure À¢€œO playboyzinhoÀ¢€Â flipped a few bucks the judgeÀ‚´s way for such a bizarre and unconstitutional decision.

    • Stephen

      Hey alltheway, I don’t think the public will be told what the legal grounds were for the ban. Brazilians have a long history of poor public comportment both inside the country and outside as well. Being topless on most beaches in Brazil is ilegal and on Copacabana the cops will confront a woman who is topless.( but maybe for a date) In Spain it is most likley ilegal to be f**king on a public beach as in Brazil.
      In the end I think the whole scandal is just a sham for publicly for one dickhead and one slut. The writer of the article is right. Brazilians love scandal but don”t take it seriously

    • alltheway

      Neither article here says any thing about WHY the court ruled as it did ? Does nayone know what the actual LEGAL grounds were ?

    • alltheway

      Sex censorship in Brasil, now I have seen it ALL

    • Sergio

      Voltamos a idade das trevas –

      We come back the age of the darknesses –

    • HB


      No one in that beach asked to see her humping in public. It was disrespectful but she did it anyway. So how does she have the right to complain that people are seeing the video? Don’t want people to see you having sex?..then don’t hump like a slut in front of everybody.

    • Kevin

      Why isn’t anyone talking about the fact that it is entirely unconstitutional for a country, or a person, for that matter, to try and stop a sex tape that was filmed IN PUBLIC on a PUBLIC beach in plain view of several people? It’s a completely different situation that making a sex tape privately in your own home, and then seeing it surface later on the Internet because a housekeeper or someone else illegally removed it from the home. I’m dumbfounded the Brazilian legal system seems to think it has authority over this in any way, but even more so that YouTube would cooperate in anyway at all. They should have laughed at this injunction and referrered everyone to the definition of freedom of speech.

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