Pleasure Principle
By The sun, the scanty clothing, the mixing of races, the taste of sin,
all have contributed to making Brazil the most erotic land on the planet. Here we show how
Carnaval, TV, newspapers, writers, composers,
fleshy girls are all together in a
conspiracy against the citizen who just
wants to live his life without so much sex, sex,
sex thrown down his throat.
Rodolfo Espinoza
Welcome to Pleasure Land. You can watch and you can even touch. Look at the all but
naked bodies slowly toasting under the tropical sun, the sweaty uncovered female and male
breasts and butts frenetically following the rhythm of the samba in Carnaval, see all
these very young and not so young girls simulating sex over a beer bottle. Bodies
overflowing from the straight jackets of skimpy shorts, bill boards and ads exhibiting
lusty torsos and tempting lips, prime-time novelas oozing sensuality with constant
scenes of couples doing it very visibly in the buff. Listen to the risqué lyrics of the
hit songs.
Blame it on the sun, blame it on genes or blame it on the powerful mix of Portuguese,
Indian and African blood, there is no denying that Brazilians are an oversexed bunch.
Political correctness has naturally arrived there from the northern hemisphere and
Brazilian authorities have been trying to rewrite the poster by which they want Brazil to
be known to the world. Prominent buns on the beach are out for foreign consumption, but
they are still very much in Brazilians’ everyday life.
Which are the most sensual people on earth? Club Meda chain of more than 120
pleasure resorts spread all over the worldalso wanted to know this from its annual
1.5 million well-to-do visitors. Brazilian women and men came up on top as the hottest.
Nothing less than 78 percent of the Club Med guests voted for the Brazilians. And
Brazilian women were also voted by 51 percent of the respondents as the world’s best
kissers.
Commenting on the results, Jean Michel Landau, Club Med’s President, said: "These
results are very meaningful. Every time we have a group of Brazilians in some of our
hotels, the atmosphere generally changes for the better, everything gets funnier and
hotter."
A wide-ranging survey on Brazilians and happiness by respected poll company DataFolha,
which belongs to daily newspaper Folha de São Paulo, had surprising and
contradictory revelations on how Brazilians perceive themselves and deal with their sex
life. Seventy percent of them, for example, are happy with their sex life. When men are
taken separately, this satisfaction index soars to 80 percent, while women stay at a lower
60 percent. There are only 7 percent who consider themselves sexually unhappy. Curiously,
however, no one has spontaneously listed sex as a sine-qua-non of happiness. Even when the
survey, which heard 2698 people 16 years old or over in 128 different municipalities from
all 26 Brazilian states, presented sex as essential for happiness only 1 percent of the
respondents chose it.
Forty eight percent of Brazilians say that they have all the sex they want while 36
percent reveal that they would like to have more of it. Another 14 percent complain that
they are having too much sex. And 7 percent tell that they never had sex.
Among those who have had sexual relations in the past, 52 percent said they are having
sex at least once a week. In second place come the 12 percent that are having no sex at
all (80 percent of those are widows). Eleven percent of the interviewees say they have sex
each and every day. For 10 percent sex is a fortnight activity and a monthly one for 7
percent of the population.
Sexual partners seem very happy with what they have at their side in bed. Not less than
43 percent give a 10 to their mates. The average is a high 8.3 percent. Women, in
particular, are very generous when rating their men. And Brazilian women appreciate sex. A
study on birth control by John Hopkins University in 1993 showed that the women from
Brazil had on average eight copulations a month, the highest average among Third World
countries. By comparison, women in developed countries had on average from three to six
monthly sexual encounters. American magazine Cosmopolitan found out that 53 percent
of Brazilian women have an orgasm almost every time they have sex. In the world taken as a
whole 26.6 percent of the women say they often reach their climax.
SEX TIIIIIIIME
And when Italian publication Riza Psicossomatica made a survey on the duration
of the sexual act they found out that Brazilians (together with Africans) take an average
of 45 minutes to consummate the encounter. Nobody does it better, or at least, nobody does
it longer. The French, for example, famous for their frequency of intercourse don’t take
more than six minutes in their real wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. The same six minutes used by
the Americans. Italians don’t fare much better, with an average of eight minutes for a
full copulation. The British will be hard to be beat, since they have hardly any time to
even take their clothes off in the three minutes for sex allotted to them.
Sexual initiation seems to be starting earlier and earlier in Brazil. Boys are getting
into puberty between the ages of 11 and 14. As for the girls, menarche, the first
menstruation, is coming six months earlier for each passing generation. According to
gynecologist Carlos Alberto Diêgoli in an interview with Folha de São Paulo,
girls in São Paulo are menstruating for the first time when they are around 12 years-old.
"But much before that," he says, "they start to develop their sexuality, to
wear bra and skimpier panties, and they begin to look at their own bodies and want to
expose their physical development."
In an article about early sexual initiation in the city of São Paulo, Revista da
Folha, Folha de São Paulo’s Sunday supplement, concluded after interviewing
200 children that when they reach 10, most kids have already given a French kiss and that
many boys have sex for the first time when they are 13, while by 16 the majority of the
girls are not virgin anymore.
Tuned to the precocity of the children some schools are trying to adapt themselves to
the times. In São Paulo, for example, Colégio Oswald de Andrade, a private elementary
school, is thinking about including sexual orientation on the curriculum, starting in
second grade. The program began three years ago with the eighth graders, but today the
course starts in fourth grade.
There is a contradiction between what Brazilians teenagers think about sex and what
they do in a real life situation. A study at the end of 1995 by São Paulo state’s
Programa de Saúde do Adolescent (Adolescent’s Health Program) revealed, for example, that
86.7 percent of 1,500 youngsters with ages ranging from 13 to 20 knew the value and the
way how to use contraceptives. But 70,1 percent of those who had had sex didn’t use any
protection in their first sexual encounter.
For 67,6 percent of them the best age to start an active sexual life is between 16 and
18 years. Despite that, among those sexually active (40.1 percent of the respondents),
62.7 percent had their initiation between the ages of 13 and 17. In another contradiction,
70.5 percent think it is OK to have sex before marriage while 40.4 percent believe that to
marry virgin is a woman’s dream.
The study has also shown a high level of romanticism among youngsters. Sixty percent of
those who had already had sex chose their boyfriend or girlfriend for their first time.
"Young people do not accept the old imposition that they start their sexual
activities with a professional anymore," noted Albertina Duarte Takiuti, the
coordinator of the research.
ARTISTIC NUDE
The Brazilian fascination with the naked body also has its sophisticated side. An
exposition by late American photographer Robert Mapplethorpe was an unexpected hit
bringing 25,000 people in two moths to see his nudes and homoerotic pictures, more than
famous painters like Brazil’s own Cândido Portinari. On the other hand, Brazilian
painting hasn’t shied away from eroticism. Di Cavalcanti, one of the most renowned
Brazilian painters, for example, has celebrated lust. In 1926, he painted "O
Samba", a colorful canvas in which two bare-breasted women are shown in a ball hall.
Brazilian literature is full of erotic characters too. Nineteenth century most revered
Brazilian writer, Machado de Assis, wrote Dom Casmurro in which the heroineor
villainis Capitu and the whole book revolves around the never-solved doubt of
whether the son she has is from her husband or from his best friend. World-renowned
best-selling author Jorge Amado has become famous with erotically-charged works like Gabriela,
Cravo e Canela (Gabriela. Clove and Cinnamon) and Dona Flor e Seus Dois
Maridos (Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands) (See box with sample text).
Waldenyr Caldas, a professor of Brazilian Culture Sociology at USP’s (Universidade de
São Paulo) Escola de Comunicações e Artes (School of Coummunications and Arts) noted
recently: "Our tropical weather makes us more libertarian sexually and this is
reflected upon our literature, which is charged with erotic characters."
One of the most talked about books in Brazil right now is the just-released Amor
Sem-Vergonha (Shameless Love). It is a collection of racy short stories by Paulista
(from São Paulo) author Regina Rheda, 40. Rheda has made a name for herself after the
publication of the 1994 prize-winning Arca de NoéHistórias do Edifício Copan
(Noah’s ArkStories of the Copan Building). Her new book has ten
naughty-action-filled short stories starting with "O Homem do Pau Bonito" (The
Man With the Pretty Dick), which according to Rheda is a composite of men she knew and who
were "vain and conceited". The writer also confessed, "Sometimes I got so
excited that I had to stop writing."
The stories, written originally for a porno magazine under the Ângela dos Santos
pseudonym, are no subtle psychological portraits. "Leilane went down all perfumed, in
a miniskirt almost as short as the blouse that inhibited, as a volleyball net, her pretty
round breasts," reads one of the stories. "Bracelets, necklaces, and earrings
chimed to the rhythm of her chubby gait. A black lacy stocking showed more than it hid the
beauty of her knees and thighs. Leilane got in the car and smeared with lipstick her
boss’s mouth. He felt growing inside his pants that something that men have at same time
as the most virile and most vulnerable."
One year ago, Carioca (from Rio) writer Heloísa Seixas, 44. provoked quite a
stir with A Porta (The Door), her first novel. Her intention was to prove that
erotic books can be high culture. Her very contemporary tale happens in a Rio already
privy to Internet and E-mail. Heroine Helena meets Pedro in an orgy party. Then, already
on page 15 comes the story: "this huge man rises at her feet. Initially still, hands
close to the thighs, the sex hanging in repose like a bird."
WITHOUT
BLUSHING
Well before the censored scandal-laced advertising by a 13-year-old Brooke Shields
telling Americans in the `80s: "Nothing comes between me and my Calvins",
Brazilians had seen a much brasher ad for jeans with a young lady in a swimming pool
having her pants being pulled off under the watchful eyes of an underwater camera while
the copy read: "Take your clothes for the one you love."
With a Catholic majority, Brazilians are a conservative bunch, but there is no
contradiction there. Apparently it is the sin’s taste, the forbidden fruit appeal that
makes sex so pleasurable and transgressions so sought.
In a recent interview with weekly newsmagazine Isto É, Brazil-based American
anthropologist Richard Parker commented: "Sexuality and sin, the transgression of the
law and the moral are valued here. There is no topless here, but there is the fio
dental (dental floss). I can’t find a sole explanation for this characteristic of
idolizing eroticism, but the truth is that Brazilians are absolutely fascinated by
sex."
Parker has lived in Brazil for 15 years and he has written the book Corpos, Prazeres
e Paixões: A Cultura Sexual no Brasil Contemporâneo (Bodies, Pleasures, Passion: The
Sexual Culture in Contemporary Brazil).
Folha de São Paulo, the largest (more than 1 million copies on Sundays)
Brazilian newspaper and arguably the most influential too, is an example of the liberal
posture of much of the Brazilian press. Folha goes a little further though than any
other major publication. Although calling itself a family paper it frequently prints four
letter words without the American subterfuge of using ellipsis or dashes so the reader can
fill in for himself the nasty words.
In its Sunday supplement called Revista da Folha the paper has dedicated several
cover stories this year to titillating subjects such as the kindness of prostitutes over
40, the best places to get a date in São Paulo, sex initiation at 12, women who love too
much, 10-year-old girls wishing to look like women, and how doctors suffer sexual
harassment from their patients. These were not little notes, but the main article of the
supplement running for several pages with personal accounts and experts’ opinions.
The same newspaper on Mondays publishes Folhateen, a supplement for their
younger readers. The colorful section, which had a condom as a gift a couple of Carnavals
ago, has a section in which psychologist Rosely Sayão, 47, answers questions dealing with
sex. On September 22, for example, Sayão used her space to answer one single letter. She
is no Dear Abby and doesn’t back away from terms normally used in men’s locker rooms.
"Is it normal to menstruate every 17 days? What is the story about female
ejaculation? And discharges?", asks a teenager under the headline: "Smegma, the
appearance of the xoxota (pussy) and other mysteries." Sayão is not the
gentle kind either and starts her answer by saying:
"Is there anything more mysterious for a woman than the appearance and the
functioning of her body parts that are related to the sexual act? Strangely we want women
to have a good sexual life just like that. Can you believe that? Just for starters, how
many women know the appearance of their own xoxota? Only contortionists, because to
use a mirror, on purpose, to see how things are there, few have the courage… Some women
are born, grow up, have sex, have children and go into menopause without knowing the
appearance of their genitals and their temperature… Between the small and large labia
and around the clitoris there is a substance called smegma that needs to be cleaned out
every day."
Folha also publishes Mais! (More!) the most authoritative cultural
supplement of any Brazilian paper. The Sunday section normally dedicates several pages to
Brazilian and foreign scholars who discuss philosophy, politics, economy and literature.
On July 20, Mais! invited 15 of the most respected Brazilian poets to write poems
dedicated to the vulva. The subject entitled "Ela" (She) accompanied by a
reproduction of Origin of the World the 1866 painting by French Gustave
Coubert shows a female frontal nudewas the cover story for the supplement. (See box
with some of the poems).
STRANGE
DESIRES
Manchete, a traditional weekly Life-style, mostly pictorial magazine,
which is a favorite of hairdressers, doctors and dentist waiting rooms presents
customarily scantily-dressed women with their breasts showing. In one recent edition the
publication dedicated several pages to uninhibited pictures of Hungarian-Italian porno
queen Cicciolina.
The weekly newsmagazine Isto É, the Brazilian equivalent of Newsweek,
frequently does cover stories on behavior subjects involving sexuality. In the last
few months the magazine had covers with such titles as: "Love that Destroys",
about love stories that ended in tragedy; "EroticismWhy Do Brazilians Only
Think About That"; "Crazy Desire", dealing love addiction, and "Female
Orgasm." Isto É , in a section of shorter notes called A Semana (The Week),
which opens the magazine, always includes shots of national or foreign naked women.
In advertising the use of sex has been so prevalent in Brazil that some admen are
fearing that the insistence on the theme could provoke a backlash from the consumer.
That’s why some people believe that a recent campaign using little children dressed as
animals to sell Parmalat milk became so popular. But not for long. As soon as Carla
Perezsee more about her belowwas shown in a commercial about beer, everybody
apparently forgot about the kids, making the point once more that sex keeps on selling.
Brazilian males are known for their seeming obsession with the female derrière, known
as bunda in Brazil. In the 17th Century there were already travel reports made by
foreigners who mentioned what they saw as a sexual perversion, but blamed it on "the
fleshy loins and buttocks, which are an invitation to luxury".
At the beginning of this century Brazil and Argentina almost broke diplomatic relations
after an Argentinean lady of the night attacked a Brazilian man with a parasol. The
reason? The man apparently asked for some unconventional sex act involving no missionary
position. Soon after that several Argentinean hookers signed a petition asking police to
forbid Brazilians from being admitted to whorehouses in Buenos Aires. Once again
Brazilians were accused of lusting for buttocks.
This interest in bundas has had a resurgence recently and became a national
fever since the appearance of 19-year-old dancer Carla Perez, whose main assetwhich
she has regally insuredis her prominent buttocks. In a survey among men to find who
would be the most desirable partner in bed, Carla came in first, a long distance before
second-place Xuxa. The false blonde, who is the main attraction of the É o Tchan band,
has become a national heroine not only for guys of all classes but for women and children
alike. Her extremely suggestive and bordering on obscene dança da garrafa (bottle
dance) or dança da bundinha (little buns dance) seems to be imitated by every
little girl and big girl in the country.
La Perez has just launched a doll with her features and intends to start a singing
career. When she was featured in Playboy’s October edition last year, the magazine,
which sells an average of 350,000 copies a month, sold 787,000 copies. And in January when
the publication decided to insert in the magazine an oversized poster of Carla and her
famous instrument, Playboy sold out on the very first day it was released.
NAKED AND
PROUD OF IT
Talking about Playboy, in which other country does the appearance on Playboy’s
cover becomes a badge of honor and the crowning achievement of a career? Brazilian Playboy
sports an inordinate amount of celebrities on its covers, The magazine’s main stable
of talent is TV and its novela (soap opera) stars.
Case in point is celebrated actress Maitê Proença, 39, who has appeared twice on the
cover of Playboy, the second one after eight years of negotiation and a $500,000
check from the magazine, the most ever paid a model by Brazilian Playboy. Her
presence on the cover and the spread inside guaranteed the magazine two record sales that
only recently were broken by two other beauties (Adriane Galisteu, the girlfriend of late
Formula One race driver Ayrton Senna, with 1.1 million copies in August 1995 and Carla
Perez).
In 1987, a Maitê cover sold 630,000 copies. Her second appearance in 1996 translated
into 720,000 magazines sold. One of the most prominent Brazilian sex symbols, Maitê is no
moralist, but she doesn’t approve of what she calls the "low quality eroticism"
of recent TV series and novelas. Says she: "The everything-goes-attitude on
the war for the audience has extrapolated all parameters of the reasonable. But this is
just an aesthetic judgement. After all, is there anything better than sex?"
Asked why topless didn’t catch on in Brazil, she answered: "Because there is
already so much nudity, there is a profusion of naked women. In Brazil even woman judges
bare their boobies. Carnaval makes the difference. During four days everything is
allowed."
Maitê made also TV history by being the first woman to appear in the buff in a novela.
That was in 1986 and the soap opera being shown on the Manchete TV network was called Dona
Beija. With the profusion of naked men and women on the little screen nowadays, naked
scenes are hardly news anymore.
To generate press coverage, Walter Avancini, the press savvy novela director
from Manchete TV has been using such stratagems as presenting minors without clothes, and
bringing celebrities from other fields, like singers. Even international personalities,
such as porno star Cicciolina, who participated recently in the final installments of Xica
da Silvathe story of a sensuous black slave who became the powerful lover of a
noble during colonial Brazildoing what she know best: exposing herself.
FROM NAÏF
TO SLICK
The all-is-a-game attitude dealing with sex is a quite recent phenomenon in Brazil.
Conservative and without real freedom of the press until the mid-80s, the country only
recently was invaded by the slick European and American hardcore porno magazines. In the
’50s and ’60s, for example, those looking for spicier literature made do with roughly
drawn comic-book style booklets.
Carlos Zéfiro, who single-handedly drew some 800 of these coarse strips ,has become a
legend. His livros de sacanagem (filthy-behavior books) also called by the mocking
name of catecismo (catechisms) were sold for top cash by newsstand owners who tried
to keep the product far from the eyes of all-too-zealous law enforcement agents. The
crude, graphic and very short stories were then passed and swapped between older and
younger in a complicity of co-sinners.
For decades nobody knew who was the person behind the character Carlos Zéfiro, who
stopped drawing when the military dictatorship stepped up its censorship and the
show-it-all sleek Danish porno mags brought an unbeatable competition around 1968. The catecismos
continued to be reprinted though for the nostalgic fans. The mystery around Carlos Zéfiro
ended in 1991 when Playboy magazine revealed that its author was a circumspect
public servant from Rio de Janeiro by the name of Alcides Caminha, whose children never
suspected his naughty activity. Caminha died of a stroke in 1992, just nine months after
having allowed his cover to be blown.
His work gained respectability and became known to a new generation when pop sensation
Marisa Monte decided to use some of his drawings to illustrate Barulhinho Bom (Good
Little Noise), her latest CD release. As expected the American version of Montes’s album
had to scrap all the salacious images.
For a country in which 16% of the people are illiterate, where a best-seller is many
times a work that sells as little as 5,000 copies, Brazil seems more than well served by
some 150 erotic magazine titles. The X-rated video industrythe national output is
still small and amateurishis doing brisk business in mostly American porno movies
with 2.4 million tapes being commercialized every year. This represents a
$50-million-dollar market.
What it lacks in technology Brazilians often more than make up in ingenuity. Consider
for example the new video introductions being offered by Expresso Visual from São Paulo.
Those interested in some action can film their "classified ad" as a "vídeo
postal" as it is called. Instead of giving measurements and descriptions of their
sexual tools and desires people can simply videotape what they have to offer. No face is
shown though and the first contact is made through a post office box.
It is extremely tough to compete with the volume and sophistication of the smut being
exhibited by Americans on the Internet and many times is simply easier to be a consumer of
this erotic-pornographic material. But despite the Yankee superiority in the technology of
porno, some Brazilian sites have appeared to show at least in some pages the domestic
product. Many of these sites are maintained by 13 to 14 year-olds who state their age on
the page and then advise that those who are less than 18 leave site unseen. A search in
Cadê?, the Brazilian Yahoo, for the word sex reveals 922 occurrences of the term in
national web pages. Most of them, however, do not dedicate the whole site to erotic
images.
Gostosa, which means tasty but it is also often used to designate a curvaceous
and fleshy female, is one of these efforts. Keeping with the Brazilian spirit, Gostosa
(http://www.gostosa.com) is an amateur page that doesn’t charge its users. Its creator is
19-year-old student Rodrigo Coutinho Marques from Olinda, state of Pernambuco, in the
north of the country. His parents know and approve of his effort. But we wouldn’t guess
their professions. The father is a doctor and the mother a police chief.
THE FIRE
WITHIN
How to explain the highly erotically-charged atmosphere of Brazil’s landscape? The most
obvious response: it is a tropical land. Sun and little clothes are indeed an explosive
concoction for the libido. But there are more elaborate and scientific explanations.
Anthopologist Roberto da Matta, an expert in Brazilian behavior, for example, believes
that there are a series of factors involved in all this national horniness.
"There is no single explanation for this cult of eroticism," he told Isto
É, "But the truth is that Brazilians are absolutely fascinated by sex." And
he presents his theory based on the promiscuity of the colonial Brazilian society with the
Portuguese colonizer often taking Black women slaves and Indians to bed : "In few
places the master’s house was so close to the slaves’ quarters. The sexual encounter was
very important to Brazilian society and it denounced a lack of moral in those times. But
that was what made possible for the country to be invented by the Portuguese."
Sex tourism, an activity that brings planeloads of mostly Europeans to the north of the
country is being fought with ads, billboards and posters in airports, threatening prison
for those having sex with minors. But, as revealed recently by Folha de São Paulo,
domestic cases of sex tourism also involving minors are on the increase.
The new sexual pole is the Pantanal, a wetlands region in the state of Mato Grosso do
Sul. The sexual activity is being disguised as fishing trips since the region has been
known for a long time as an area for angling. In many cases, children and adolescents are
hired for periods up to two weeks to spend the time with tourists from all over the
country, but mainly from São Paulo. A Unicef study has identified in the area 65 lodgings
that are front for whorehouses.
Folha presents what seems to be a typical establishment: it is a hotel on the
banks of the River Paraguai in the city of Porto Murtinho. The place has 18 rooms all with
air conditioning and frigobar. More than 40 prostitutes work there and on a busy night as
many as 250 men visit the place. The owner told the paper about his pride of having
illustrious clients staying there, including well-known singers, actors, businessmen and
soccer players.
All this blatant eroticism can be intimidating for some. And there are matchmaking
services ready to help those who for lack of time or skills are not able to get a date.
Matrimonial agencies as they are sometimes called are flourishing in Brazil. One of the
largest ones, Happy End, from São Paulo is getting, according to their owners 200 new
clients a month, people who may pay up to $5,000 to be part of their quite exclusive
listing.
This is a far cry from 1992 when not more than 30 people a month were joining the
service. The list has grown to 3,400 Brazilians and 1,400 Americans. The price, which
starts at $1,000 for the younger candidates gets more expensive the older people get. A
new plan has now been introduced to Internauts at the address http://www.happyend.com.br.
The Internet service costs $135 for two months of membership. The Clube do Amor Perfeito
(Perfect Love Club) is doing similar work for the less affluent.
In Praise of
the Vulva
A sample of the 15 poems published
by Folha de São Paulo in "Mais!,"
the paper’s cultural supplement:
POEMA EM FORMA
DE CARTA AO LEITOR
Augusto Massi
Quanto tempo custa a um analfabeto
empregar corretamente genitália?
Quantos textos um homem de letras
precisa escrever para usar boceta?
Quantas primaveras uma menina leva
para saltar a palavra perereca?
Quando se perde a virgindade do poema?
Por que tamanha tara pela metáfora?
Por que falar leque, búzio, flor?
A xoxota não cabe no ventre do poema?
Como arrancar o cabaço da imagem?
A musa tem orgasmo, menstrua, urina?
Como ela se refere ao próprio sexo?
Entre mulheres importa o tamanho da vagina?
No amor é possível sussurrar clitóris?
Estou cansado de tanto engenho
dos ginecologistas da língua,
das propagandas de absorvente.
Por que essa palavra entre os dentes?
Não existe um ponto intermediário
onde se fundem o som e o sentido?
Onde se fodem baixo calão e dicionário?
Quantas perguntas sem resposta.
Leitor, perdoe esse perverso polimorfo,
que recifra em sêmen, em verso, em prosa,
o inexplicável lirismo da xoxota.
POEM IN FORM OF LETTER
TO THE READER
How long does it take for an illiterate
to correctly use genitalia?
How many texts a man of letters
needs to write to use cunt?
How many springs does a girl take
to bounce the word beaver?
When do you lose the poem’s virginity?
Why such a degenerate lust for the metaphor?
Why say fan, shell, flower?
Doesn’t pussy fit the poem’s belly?
How do you cop the image’s cherry?
Does the muse have orgasm, menstruate or urinate?
How does she refer to her own sex?
Among women does the vagina size matter?
When making love are you allowed to whisper clitoris?
I am tired of so much artifice
from the tongue’s gynecologists,
from the sanitary pads ads.
Why this word between the teeth?
There is no middle ground
where sound and sense fuse themselves?
Where dirty talk and dictionary fuck each other?
How many unanswered questions.
Reader, forgive this polymorphous perverse,
who reciphers in semen, in verse, in prose,
the unexplainable lyricism of the pussy.
DISCRETA
Maria Rita Kehl
Se finjo acreditar sempre que insistes
em professar completa ignorância
daquilo que conheces desde a infância,
mas contra teu saber inda resistes,
é que em teu corpo a carne alerta e triste
não pensa nem calcula: é pura ânsia;
nem atribui a menor importância
ao que faltava ali, quando me vistes.
Foi teu desejo que fez o segredo
de onde teço minh’arte, feiticeira,
a fim de exercitar as artes tuas;
que meu vazio não te faça medo:
pois se não me foi dado ser inteira
tampouco me terás menos que duas.
DISCREET
If I feign to believe when you insist
on professing total ignorance
of what you know since childhood
but against your knowledge you resist,
`cause in your body the flesh alert and sad
doesn’t think or calculate: it’s pure anxiety;
neither does it give the minimum value
to what was missing there when you saw me
It was your desire that made the secret
from where I weave my witch-like art,
in order to exercise your arts;
may my emptiness cause you no fear:
because if I cannot be whole
you won’t have less than two either.
On the Hit Parade
Casa da madame
Henrique Lima from
the Virgulóides
É pedreiro, é pintor,
encanador na casa da madame
A madame paquera o vizinho
com medo de dar vexame
A madame é casada
com um cara muito rico
Mas ela gosta é da pá do pedreiro,
pinta o sete com o pincel do pintor,
pega no cano do encanador
e na carteira do marido
Tá todo mundo aqui só pensando naquilo
Tá todo mundo aqui colando o suvaco do umbigo
Aqui tá ficando tudo muito fácil
cada um faz o que quer
A mulher que traiu seu marido,
que traiu a sua mulher
E ela pensa que é esperta
mas tem um chifre exuberante
Pois o marido dela
com a empregada tem romance
Tá todo mundo aqui só pensando naquilo
Tá todo mundo aqui colando o suvaco do umbigo
Madam’s House
It’s bricklayer, it’s painter,
it’s plumber at the madam’s house
Madam flirts with the neighbor
Afraid of being caught
Madam is married
with a very rich guy
But what she likes is the bricklayer’s scoop
she paints the town red with the painter’s brush,
she takes the plumber’s pipe
and the husband’s wallet
Everybody here only thinks about that
Everybody here is gluing the bellybutton’s armpit
Everything here is getting too easy
everyone does what he wishes
The woman who betrayed her husband,
who betrayed his wife
And she thinks she is smart
but she has an exuberant horn
`Cause her husband
Has an affair with the maid
Everybody here only thinks about that
Everybody here is gluing the bellybutton’s armpit
Médico safado
Henrique Lima from
the Virgulóides
A minha irmã vivia passando mal
Ninguém sabia o que ela tinha
Foi parar no hospital
Lá o Doutor disse: você vai ficar curada
Por favor, tire a roupa
só pra eu dar uma examinada
E o médico arrancou
O médico arrancou o `baço dela que doía
Operação gostosa
Nem precisou anestesia
E assim ela gemia:
ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai
e gemia
ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui
A minha mãe falou:
mas que médico safado,
deixou a coitada no escracho do regaço
Logo depois, aquele brucho ficou inchado
E o próprio doutor falou:
pode deixar que eu faço o parto
Porque ele arrancou
O médico arrancou o baço dela que doía
Operação gostosa
Nem precisou anestesia
E assim ela gemia:
ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai
e gemia
ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui
Ai, Doutor, não dá pra ir mais rápido?
Naughty Doctor
My sister was always feeling ill
Nobody knew what she had
She ended up at the hospital
There the doctor said: You gonna be cured
Please, take off your clothes
just for a little exam
And the doctor picked…
The doctor copped her cherry, which was hurting
Delicious operation
It didn’t need anesthesia
And she moaned like this:
ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai
and moaned
ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui
My mother said:
what a naughty doctor
he left the poor girl in a sticky wicket
Soon after that animal was swollen
And the doctor himself said:
Leave it to me, I’ll do the delivery
Because he picked…
The doctor picked her cherry, which was hurting
Delicious operation
It didn’t need anesthesia
And she moaned like this:
ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai
and moaned
ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui, ui
Alas, doctor, can’t you go faster?
Sex Symbols
according to Datafolha
What famous woman would make you
totally happy sexually was the question.
The four top positions are taken by blondes.
In percentage
Dancer Carla Perez ……………………10
TV host Xuxa……………………………. 6
TV host Angélica……………………….. 5
TV and movie actress Vera Fisher …5
Actress Cláudia Raia …………………..4
TV presenter Bruna Lombardi……… 3
US singer Madonna…………………… 3
Wife, girlfriend …………………………..3
TV actress Luíza Brunet……………… 2
US actress Sharon Stone…………….. 2
What famous man would make you
totally happy sexually?
TV actor Antônio Fagundes………… 5
TV actor Maurício Mattar…………… 5
Actor-singer Fábio Júnior ……………3
US actor Tom Cruise …………………3
Husband/boyfriend …………………….3
Actor José Mayer………………………2
Singer Roberto Carlos………………. 2
TV actor Tony Ramos ……………….2
Movie actor Van Damme ……………2
TV actor Victor Fasano…………….. 2
Naughty
Mini-Pocket
Glossary
Bocetacunt
Bundabuttocks
Cabacinhovirgin girl, cherry
Camisinhacondom
Caralhoprick
Catecismo(lit. catechism) pornographic comic-strip booklet
Comer(literally to eat) to have sex
Cuasshole
Ficar (literally to stay)to engage in heavy petting
Foderto fuck
Gostosa (o)(lit. tasty) sexual appealing woman (man)
Gozarto have an orgasm, to come
Paquerarto flirt
Pau(lit. wood stick) dick
Piranhaprostitute
Putaprostitute
Sacanagemfilthy action, group sex
Tesãohorniness, sexual appealing man or woman
Transarto have sex
Trepar(lit. to climb) to fuck
XoxotaPussy
Zonared light district
Excerpt from
Tereza Batista Home From the Wars
by Jorge Amado, translated by
Barbara Shelby, Avon Books
During that century-long, brief night, all was repetition, and yet the repetition was
new, a discovery. Dan, still kneeling, lifted his hands to her breasts, while his lustful
mouth drifted from the scar to her navel, into which his tongue darted, a dagger of a
caress. His hands slid from her breasts down her torso to her waist, groping along the
curve of her hips, the plateau of her buttocks, the columns of thighs and legs. On her
feet the copper took on the greenblack patina of bronze. Dan’s hands rose again to take
Tereza’s and make her kneel down. They embraced as they knelt face to face, the girl’s
lips parted imploringly. They lay down as they kissed, and their legs intertwined; stone
breasts throbbed against a velvety thicket; soft thighs were clasped between the youth’s
taut muscles. Dan’s impatient hand felt inside her pants and reached the black garden
where the golden rose was asleep and languishingin that mystery of mysteries the
copper turned to gold. Oh, love! Tereza said to herself again, still too fearful to repeat
it aloud. The girl’s unskilled hand timidly touched the angel’s ringlets, then with
gathering courage moved down his face, then across his neck and shoulder, to end up
triumphantly in the down of his chest. Daniel squatted in front of Tereza and slipped off
her last flowered garment, covering with one hand the garden of black hair concealing the
coffer and the rose. He stood up and pulled off his shorts, Tereza looked up at him as she
lay and contemplated the Angel drawn up to his full height in celestial splendor: the
sweet meadow of tawny ringlets and the sword upraised. Oh, love! He lay down again beside
her, the weight of his thigh on hers, the hair on his chest like ermine, plush and velvet
to Tereza’s playful fingers, as Dan’s left hand wandered from one breast to the other,
squeezing the swelling nipples, which swelled still more when his mouth sucked at them
before greedily devouring the whole breast, crushing the stone in the suction of a kiss
and then with intoxicating words: Give me your milk, I m your baby and I want to suckle at
your breast. Daniel found the right words then, probably the same worn words he had always
used, but now they were spoken without artifice, without hypocrisy, without cunning, and
became new again in the simplicity and sweetness and shyness of that peerless night: My
love, pretty doll, little girl, silly little thing, my life, menina, minha menina. His
mouth whispered tender things into her ear, his lips touched her earlobe and his teeth bit
into it, I’m going to eat you up, every last bit of you, his tongue went into the feverish
shell of her ear, and how many times did Tereza think she would faint? Tereza’s hand
clutched his arm and shoulder and plunged into the hair on his chest, her mouth learned
how to kiss and her tongue throbbed voraciously. Daniel’s right hand was still in
possession of the black tuft where the coffer with the golden rose was concealed. One
finger, his index finger, escaped from his band and fled inside Tereza, penetrated her
subtly, tenaciously; oh, love! Tereza sighed and shuddered again how could deadly duty be
transformed into such happiness? The girl’s hand moved awkwardly, irresolutely over the
Angel’s willowy body, and he led it to the soft, tawny field, to the gleaming sword.
Tereza touched it with her fingertips. It was made of flowers and steel… she grasped it
in her hand. Daniel unveiled the mysterious coffer and its rose blossomed in the warmth of
a lighted ember, the first. The sparks spread to her nipples, her panting lips, her bitten
ear, along her thighs, to the vale of her belly and the fold of her buttocks. The flower
throbbed, the sword flamed. Tereza opened her legs, the thighs of a girl who was a woman
at last. It was she who untied the knot, she who offered and gave herself. No one told her
to do it, for the very first time, and she was not afraid. Daniel bestowed a kiss on the
tuft of black hair before setting off with the girl toward the revelation of life and
death, it would have been bliss to die then when St. John’s Eve was consumed in the
bonfires of love and Tereza Batista was born again. Oh, love! she repeated in the
beginning, at the end, oh love.
Excerpt from
Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands,
by Jorge Amado, translation by
Harriet de Onís, Alfred A. Knopf
In the living-room the doors of heaven opened wide, and a song of rejoicing burst
forth. "Who ever heard of screwing in a nightgown?" Dona Flor as naked as he,
each dressing and completing himself in the nudity of the other. A fiery lance ran through
her. For the second time Vadinho had made off with her honor, the first when she was a
virgin, now that she was married (and had there been other opportunities he would have
taken advantage of them). Off they went through the meadows of the night to the edge of
dawn.
Never had they found such pleasure in one another: so free, so fiery, so gluttonous, so
delirious. Ah, Vadinho, if you felt hunger and thirst, what about me, on that limited
bland diet, without salt or sugar, the chaste wife of a respectful, restrained husband?
What do I care about what people think of me? What do I give for my honor as a married
woman? Take all this in your burning mouth, which tastes of raw onion, burn in your fire
my innate decency, rend with your spurs my former modesty: I am your bitch, your mare,
your whore.
They came and went, and hardly were they back when they were off again, going and
returning. So much longing and so many goals to achieve, all won, all repeated.
Insolent and beloved, foul and beautiful, Vadinho’s voice was in her ear, saying so
many indecent things, recalling the joys of other days. "Do you remember the first
time I touched you? The Carnival groups were coming through the square, and you leaned up
against me…"
"It was you who put your arm around me and ran your hand down me …"
He ran his hand down her and recognized her: "You have the tail of a siren, your
belly is the color of copper, your breasts of avocado. You have put on weight, Flor, you
are more filled out, you are delicious from your head to your feet. Let me tell you, I
have picked a lot of cherries in my life, a good crop, but there is no cunt that can
compare with yours, it is the best of all, I swear that to you, my Flor."
"What does it taste of?" Dona Flor asked, shameless and cynical.
"Of honey and pepper and ginger."
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