Lula Tells Brazil Is Better Prepared to Find the G-Spot and Other Irreverences

    Lula inaugurates dam

    Lula inaugurates dam Brazilian President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva on Friday sounded more like an R-rated stand-up comedian than a statesman while in the state of Goiás. He used the most intimate feminine anatomy twice to make a point and used the word shit to describe his humble origin.

    The audience laughed heartily at his irreverences. He drew a big laugh for example, when he talked about Brazil’s unparalleled ability to find the G-spot during a ceremony to launch the João Leite dam in Goiânia, capital of Goiás state.

    According to him, Brazil has gained international respect and has been called to be part of all kinds of Gs: “Brazil is part of the G20, G7, G8, G3. In short any G they make they have to call Brazil. We are the most prepared country in the world to find the G-spot.” 

    The G-spot has been in the news recently involving British and French scientists divided about the existence of this mythical female erogenous zone, which should bring high levels of sexual arousal and orgasm when stimulated the right way.

    And how was Brazil able to get respect in the world? “It’s not because I am more beautiful than those who came before me. It’s because I learned not to lower my head to anyone. You need to talk eye to eye,” taught Lula.

    The president said he has authority to talk to other countries and other presidents participating in all the groups of nations mentioned above. Brazilians, Lula insisted, shouldn’t feel inferior to people of other nationalities and mentioned the example of his own life:

    “Which of these presidents had to wake at dawn with water on his heels and fight over space with rats, roaches and shit? This gives us the authority,” said Lula.

    Lula also commented on how it is hard to do any work in Brazil sometimes due to the actions of environmentalists. He talked about work that had to be stopped for six months in Rio Grande do Sul while building a road because there was fear that it would be detrimental to a frog (perereca) believed to be almost extinct.

    According to the president it was discovered that the fear of extinction has been exaggerated.

    “Thank God the perereca was in no danger of extinction. Perereca can never be extinguished!” Said the president, to much laughter, since perereca in Portuguese is frog, but also a common name for the female genitals.

    “Before, all the other people had was better. This is over. We brought the Olympics here, the World Cup and they used to say we could not do that. I can’t? And why not? Because I’m poor? Who says that are people who play backward all the time. They look like crab. They lost any notion of what the Olympics and a World Cup are,” he went on.

    Discussing the importance of Brazil holding the World Cup in 2014, Lula told his audience he could not promise that Brazil would be the champion. “I just cannot promise that we will win the title because the TCU [Court of Accounts] won’t let us do it.” The reference to the need of saving money also caused laughter.

    The TCU in recent months seems to have increased its oversight of government programs, especially those from the Acceleration Growth Program, known for short as PAC, a plan very dear to the president. 

    According to Lula, before he took office, even the doorman at the  International Monetary Fund (IMF) didn’t respect the country. “It was humiliating,” said the president.

    Lula said that after him, only the Geisel administration, a general who governed during the 1964-1985 dictatorship, invested a lot in infrastructure in the country. The difference, he stated, is that the Geisel administration indebted Brazil while today Brazil lends to the IMF and has brought back the companies that left the country.

    The president reiterated that he favors neither party when he releases federal funds to states and municipalities. “Ruling the country,” he explained, “is not to rule for a group and friends.”

    As an example he mentioned the purchase of Nossa Caixa by Banco do Brasil. According to the president, despite criticism of allies, he opted for the purchase of the institution because he had the intention to transform Banco do Brasil into the largest bank in the country and also because he wanted to solve the problem of credit.

    “Instead of privatizing banks, we bought one through Banco do Brasil. Who saved the credit in this crisis? It was Banco do Brasil, public banks. If it were not for public banks, we would have brought the country to a crisis as serious as that in the United States and the countries of Europe,” the Brazilian president concluded.

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    • Show Comments (4)

    • Andrade

      [quote]Pretty Damn Funny….For A Tradesman President[/quote]

      You must be an aristocratic Brit to call Lula by such a name.

      [quote]Will probably be very highly paid speaker around the world, and everyone will look forward to his very clever ” língua da rua “.[/quote]

      Just like another “Tradesman” PM you had, though that guy was a “brief-less barrister” and made it big kissing the right arses. The Brits are very good at looking down upon the “Tradesmen” from your high pedestal and I guess you are no exception.

    • Lloyd Cata

      Pretty Damn Funny….For A Tradesman President
      Lula continues to defy the advice of more ‘learned’ men and appeals to the Brazilian street. Brazil is blessed with good fortune during trying times for the world and Lula is riding the wave. Will probably be very highly paid speaker around the world, and everyone will look forward to his very clever ” língua da rua “.
      Remember his line about, “people of color did not cause world financial collapse”? So obviously Lula is accomplished at using sharp language without being disrespectful of sensibilities…one of the qualities of the best comedians.

    • hunh?

      What should I understand from this speech: Lula is the greatest president ever from Brazil and Brazil is the is unparalled in its global performance: everything it’s leader and people do is extraordinary. But it’s just more hot air, more boasting and bragging.

    • André

      R-Rated…. Is that “reactionary-rated”?
      No child has any idea what the G-spot is (believe me, as even most adults don’t either). And the word “perereca” is commonly used even with children to reffer to their own genitals parts in Brazil. Instead of R-Rating Lula, it is the author who shoud be “Reactionary-rated”.

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