This interview only made it harder to make the transition to a different home, different city, and different country. If they're not the ones who will decide whether Sean stays or goes, to interview him so he can say what he wants will frustrate him even more. After all, he cannot make this decision. It's clear in this conversation the manipulation and parental alienation throughout the years.
They scheduled really cool outings on the days he was supposed to meet his father? Oh, what a pity! Sean won't be able to go to Beach Park, since he has to stay home to see his father, oops, to see David. Or is that because he can't leave the state of Rio de Janeiro?
He won't be able to go to Búzios, because he has to wait for the insisting guy who's going over there to see him.
The father did not show up to meet him. Did they tell the boy the meeting had been canceled? And was there really an appointment every time they told the boy about one? Should a family that has frequently made use of illegal tactics be trusted?
Here are the portions where the psychologist showed her bias for him to stay in Brazil. Was this interview conducted in an adequate manner?
Terezinha Feres-Carneiro – Which friend do you like the most at school?
Sean Goldman – Oh, there are so many…
TC – So many! Wow! There are many friends you like…
Reading between the lines: Don't take Sean from here, don't take him from all the millions of friends he has. Only his mother can do that!
TC – And I wanted to tell you this, that this is a decision for adults to make… but it's also important, Sean, that you know that you're not going to decide this, ok?…
TC – …I'm going to root for your desire to stay in Brazil…
TC – …to come true, isn't it? Because as far as I understand…
TC – …you want very much to stay in Brazil. But like I said, it's not your decision. This is something for adults to decide and we'll see if the adults, right, we'll see…
TC – …they will listen to you, they will see what's best for you, right?
TC – No, I understand that you don't like it, I just wanted, right, like I was saying that you don't have to be concerned because your saying has a lot of value… would you like to make the final decision? To have the responsibility to make the final decision?
Reading between the lines: It's not Sean who decides, but maybe he'd like to decide, but he can't decide, if he could decide, however, what would he decide? Too bad he didn't cry…
TC – Aham. You can't recall anything from there? From the time you lived there until you were four, wasn't it? Can't you remember anything?
Reading between the lines: what does she remember of her life until she was four? I only remember what I have see on photographs and videos and that will certainly help Sean recall everything.
TC – Humm, you think he passes himself as a sufferer? How is that?
TC – You think he's pretending, you don't believe him much, right?
Reading between the lines: it's clear that the boy completely lost the notion of reality. He thinks his maternal relatives are telling the truth, this psychologist is impartial, the father doesn't love him and Santa is coming on Christmas.
TC – He did not show up?
SG – He did not show up
TC – After he made plans with you?
TC – That's really unfortunate, isn't it? It's the third time he makes plans with you and doesn't come. Then it's hard to trust him, right?
TC – It's hard to trust
Reading between the lines: that was the icing on the cake! It's way out of line. The quote "it's really hard to trust" came out of the psychologist's mouth! Does anyone have any doubts regarding manipulation and TC?
TC – I see, it makes you really upset and I can understand why you're upset
Reading between the lines: he's upset, forgetful, concerned, disrespected. Why didn't she make him more depressed? Ah, it was because time's up!
TC – that the adults hear this. That whoever is making this decision knows this
SG – that all the judges, that all the people know
TC – that all the people, the judges who will work on this case know that it's your desire to stay in Brazil
TC – I understand Sean, I understand. We'll see, we'll root for the people, for the adults who are making this decision, right? So they can understand what's going on inside of your head
Reading between the lines: it's the judge's fault if he has to live in the US. Here, we found someone to blame! Will the judge be prosecuted??
TC – That's great. So do the 3 of you go out alone or does someone come along?
SG – The nanny comes along. To take care of Chiara since she's still too little and wears diapers.
Reading between the lines: and the fear of conveying that Sean is only with a nanny? Will the nanny lose her job when Chiara gets potty-trained??
TC – Do you think it's important for you to learn English for when you go to the USA to be able to speak English…
SG – No…
TC – You didn't think it was so important. You can study that later in life, right?
Reading between the lines: why does he need to speak his father's language? The less he knows, the harder it is to bond with him.
TC – He disrespected you, you think?
SG – Yeah
TC – This is disrespectful
TC – … now, going back to the disrespect, right Sean, when we feel disrespected or when we're upset about something, someone, as your Dad, David, a friend…
TC – …I think it's important that you are able to tell David that you feel like this, right? Not only for David, but for your friend, if your friend disrespects you, you can say
Yes, psychologist, smear the image of the father. Why didn't she take the opportunity to clarify what really happened? Since when to talk about the "evil deeds" of a father is good for a child? Will this be good for the boy to have embedded in his head how DISRESPECTED he is by his father?
The psychologist has not seen "Life is Beautiful". She did not see what that father from the movie did in the concentration camps to spare his son of suffering. And in that moment, her role was to invalidate the father all the time.
This interview made it clear how much the father disrespects him and how much the mother respected him when she took him from the father. I think they achieved the goal of completely reversing what happened. I think the Brazilian laws are completely convinced of that too. After all, so much time has passed… what's really happened, again?
Roberta Palermo
Family Therapist
www.robertapalermo.com.br