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My Own Brazilian Castle with Ghosts and a Knight in Shining Armor PDF Print E-mail
Written by Robin Sparks   
Friday, 14 April 2006 11:54

Castelo Valentim in Santa Teresa, Rio, BrazilI've just moved into a castle. No joke! I moved out of a nondescript hotel room in Copacabana, to my own little Rapunzel room high up on a hill in a castle complete with everything but a moat. You can see the Castelo Valentim from most of Rio and from the castle you can see almost all of Rio - a great place to watch Carnaval, as you have a dead-on view of the Sambadrome.

There is a quaint, if noisy trolley car that jerks and sputters up a steep Santa Teresa to its front door. After entering through the heavy wooden door of the castle, you walk down a long, curving underground tunnel which ends at an old metal gated elevator.

One day a maid in the castle refused to leave until I walked out with her. She said there were ghosts. I believe her.

The castle has arched doorways, 14 foot ceilings, parquet floors, pointed gazebos, a pool, verandahs. My hosts are Adriana and Luiz Fernando Valentim, a young working couple, the latter a descendant of the architect who built Castelo Valentim in 1879.

The young Valentim's mother, a government employee, occupies the ground floor flat. She finances maintenance of the castle that was handed down to her and her siblings, by renting out sections of the castle as apartments, and my room, located in the third floor flat of Luiz and Adriana.

My room including breakfast is US$ 25 less than the hotel room I've just vacated. The castle is backed up to a mountain, surrounded by jungle foliage complete with monkeys who steal bananas from the kitchen.

The neighborhood is Santa Teresa - bohemian, hip, teeming with artists and musicians. But on either side of Santa Teresa, are favelas, which lend a certain edginess to the neighborhood, especially after dark.

Carlos, a young Brazilian, began the self-sustainable Santa Teresa-based bed and breakfast business called Cama e Café (Bed and Breakfast), that is responsible for my room in the castle.

The idea behind the business is that tourists' dollars remain in the community that drew them in the first place. Since tourists demand restaurants, shopping, transportation, business, and therefore the community thrives.

Best of all, tourist revenue remains in the community that generated the ambience that drew the tourists in the first place - not to hotel chains. This great concept of self-sustainable tourism, is the reason I'm now living in a castle for less money than it costs to rent a room in San Francisco's Tenderloin.

The day I am going to move into the castle, Carlos takes me out to a local restaurant. It turns out that eating out on a Saturday afternoon is a Carioca (what they call Brazilians who live in Rio) tradition - that and getting your car washed.

Sudsy, wet cars were parked all up and down the streets of Rio surrounded by kids wielding hoses and sponges. We ate an amazing meal of fresh fish, the name of which I forget, and carne do sol (sun-dried meat), feijoada (long cooked with meat beans), farofa (a fried cassava grain that is to Brazilians, what ketchup is to Americans), rice, salad, and Bohemia beer.

All around us were happy boisterous Brazilian families and friends consuming like us, unbelievable quantities of food and beer. We finished with two shots of ginger juice, a traditional Brazilian aperitif.

Then slightly drunk in the middle of the afternoon, and full to bursting, we walked up and around, and up and around the hill pulling my bags until we had reached the castle at the summit.

We pounded on the big wooden door until Adriana rang us in. A long, dark medieval tunnel through the mountain, led us to the elevator. Up, up, up we crept, until the elevator creaked to a stop on the third floor.

The door to the elevator would not open. Jammed. Now what? I was trapped in a tiny elevator with a 27-year old guy who's been coming on to me since the last time I was in Brazil, two years ago.

Which reminds me, Carlos asked me during our meal if I was a virgin. "What?!!!" I asked, almost choking on my camarão bobó (shrimp dish).

"Are you a virgin?" he repeated.

Then it dawned on me that he was talking astrologically. Yes, I was a Virgo I told him. He invited me to a rave on a farm outside of Rio for my birthday. I told him I'd have to see. I hadn't decided yet when I'd be leaving Rio for Fortaleza.

At last the elevator door opened, and Carlos emerged unmolested.

Robin Sparks has traveled to over 23 countries in seven years in search of the perfect expat haven. She is editor of Escape Artist Travel Magazine, www.EscapeArtist.com. She is teaching a writing workshop along with the executive editor of Travelers Tales Books, aboard a Turkish gulet in the Mediterranean June 3-10, 2006. Go to her site, www.robinsparks.com, and click on Journal for more information.

Comments (96)Add Comment
Selling the Brazilian Lie
written by Guest, April 14, 2006
Oh s**t - here we go again. I was eagerly anticipating more bulls**t in Ms. Sparks next installment of "Selling the Ultimate Brazilian Lie."

Let me guess, next you're going to be whisked off to Rome or Paris on a private jet because you are so bundalicious that all Brazilian men are rendered helpless in its presence. . . Let the games begin!
IS CARLOS A STUD MUFFIN?
written by Guest, April 14, 2006
Good heavens is this woman for real?. One would have though she would have had unbridled SEX with this sex fueled Brazilian 'stud muffin'. Did Carlos NOT want her LOVE?

That is clearly a CLASSIC, and rib-tickling!
Delusional American Frog
written by Guest, April 14, 2006
Robin SPARKS is your typical american delusional woman who thinks every manwants her. Brasilian women shame American women (and Sparky) in all aspects. Only an Amerciana Sparky can turn her desire for a man into how he wants her! Go back to San Francisostien, USA(I)

An American Man
Let\'s see it girlfriend
written by Guest, April 14, 2006
The door to the elevator would not open. Jammed. Now what? I was trapped in a tiny elevator with a 27-year old guy who's been coming on to me since the last time I was in Brazil, two years ago.

Which reminds me, Carlos asked me during our meal if I was a virgin. "What?!!!" I asked, almost choking on my camarão bobó (shrimp dish).

"Are you a virgin?" he repeated.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED PLEASE SPARE US ANY FURTHER ABUSE UNLESS YOU'VE REALLY GOT THE GOODS. ROBIN, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY THAT WE WANT TO SEE FULL ON XXX PICS BEFORE WE HEAR ANY MORE BOASTING.
what a bunch of kids
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
Dear Robin,i think you are doing a great job,but as usual you always will find a bunch of jealous kids,for sure they would like very much to be on your shoes .You have to always remenber ,not many people in this world can have the experience that you are having,and in that alone,,i look up to you..
take care.
NOW FOREIGNERS BOASTING AT BRAZIL
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
Knights in shining armour, a castle backed up to a mountian, monkeys in the jungle and Carlos. This is quite extraordinary. An American is now boasting at the expense of these Brazilians, really! Is this the year 1806? Good Lord I cannot believe this.

I do appreciate these artices which come out of this newroom but this is quite a different realm altogether. My dear, please contain yourself.
I WOULD TOO!!
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
You know what... if I ever came across Robin I would be coming on to her also. I don't blame this Carlos guy. After visiting her site and seeing what she looks like I don't have a doubt that this Carlos dude was trying to get some. I would!
We\'re sure you would . . .
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
Mr Midlife Crisis -
Spoken like a deperate middle-aged, balding American if I ever heard one.
...
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
Middle-aged balding American? You would be surprised Sir! All SEX and nothing else, good gracious.
...
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
In a country full of the most bundalicious, feminine women in the world and you would opt for Ms. Sparks. What a truly sad development. I wouldn't be surprised if it is all SEX and nothing else - when you're paying for it that is generally what happens right? Good gracious I hope this isn't seroconversion . . .
Lock her in the Tower!
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
Well, the article starts off almost readable but then takes the inevitable one way route up its own sphincter. Why does the Sparkster persist in churning out these teenage diary posts. You can almost hear her giggling to herself as she uses lipstick to draw a heart around the phrase "Carlos 4 me 4 eva".
All in all, another typical, lightweight article by this self promoting, McArticle specialist composed in her usual popcorn style. Why does she continue to rehash these old articles? They don´t get better with age Sparkster!
Silas.
...
written by Guest, April 15, 2006
she persists in turning out this teenage diary post because she is doing what she has been donig for the last seven years for escapeartist.com selling thier product. I can't believe it took them this long to finally discover brazil.
...
written by Guest, April 16, 2006
this truly is a "teenage diary". And I'm quite sure that "Carlos" is your typical brazilian that tries to screw anything with a blood pressure and of course those brazilians that think that any foreign woman, especially with white skin and blue eyes is the hottest thing on earth, it doesn't matter if she has a face like a fish, when, with all due respect Robin, you're certainly no "looker", and would be average at best in the U.S., as I'm sure you know.

These "fluff" pieces you write are a little "too" much for those of us that LIVE here Robin. We understand your ulterior motive for painting brazil, and I'm sure all the other places you go, as some tropical wonderland with beautiful naked dancing girls everywhere you go. If you TRULY want to know brazil, I suggest you stay out of the "tourist traps" set up specifically for everyone to buy into this "dream" your creating. But even there the brazilian "reality" still seeps in from time to time.....have their been any attacks on tourists at the beaches in Leblon or Copa lately, or tourists buses hijacked from the airport on their way to the hotel, giving them a truly brazilian "Bem Vindo!"
Enough!
written by Guest, April 16, 2006
Robin Sparks churns my stomach. Enough of her idiocy, please!
...
written by Guest, April 16, 2006
Gee whiz, give her a break....what is with you people?!
...
written by Guest, April 16, 2006
"Gee whiz, give her a break....what is with you people?!?"

dude, she asks for it with this fairy-tale s**t she creates here. Instead of giving people a realistic look at a place, the positives AS WELL as the negatives, we have to hear this adolescent-like "trapped in an elavator" with Carlos dribble. Kind of teen-agerish wouldn't ya say?

And when taking into account her other agendas, it really is nauseating.
COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
I agree with the above post. It is realistic and down to EARTH!
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
Fantastic another fluff piece from Robin keep it up, her stories always makes me smile, and the responses she provokes have me laughing.

Brazzil would be worse with out her!
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
You know, I've walked past this building and wondered about its history -- it's certainly an interesting looking "castle". What could've been an inspired article about the building itself and the neighbourhood of Santa Teresa turns out to be another trite exercise with no real purpose or ending. How about doing some research for your "fluff" pieces, like at least remembering the names of the dishes you ate at the restaurant?
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
I find myself reading Robin's articles more for the response she recieves than what she is actually writing about. Yes, she has a high school form of reporting and she could use a good editor...but, all you closet wannabee writers and crtitics should listen up! If there is one aspect of the Brazillian economy that has the most potential, yet the least support, it is tourism. If the majority of you negative, sit-at-home-with nohting better to do than wait for articles on this site to come out so you can hide in the dark under the only light comming from your PC screen and critisize people who have the courage and interest to explore their world and simply share this knowlede with others..are Brazillians...then absolutely shame on you! Every country has its problems and its ugly side, just as every country has its beauty and magic! Those of you who sit at home waiting for a chance to downplay the experience of a foreigner who has visited your country, well...you are only participating in the problems of the country you are from. So what, that Robin paints the best picture of Brazil as she can? So what she writes other articles for escape from america? If you cynics are Brazillian then tell me, really, what is so bad about a foreigner comming here to only say nice things? Wake up and try to change the perception from the rest of the world that BRAZIL is stiil a third world country. This website, like many, is proof of not only the power of the internet...but its poison. You can decide how the world sees you! Tell me again...what is wrong with people visiting another country, and enjoying themselves? If you don't like it, then tough s**t!!! Get used to it or get out of the way! The world will continue to turn without you.
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
there's nothing wrong with people visiting other countries dip-s**t, but tell me this. The english for example must travel to other countries more frequently than most, they have money, and they live in a small country in europe, so international travel is cheap and easy. But, when they see "fluff" articles such as this, and think, "wow, brazil, sounds great, let's go there", without knowing the "negatives" as well, then we have what happened two months ago, a busload of the f**kers arriving at Rio de Janeiro International Airport and checking into their hotel in their f**king underwear because they were hijacked on the way from the airport and everything stolen except their f**king birthmarks!
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
So what? s**t happens... there will be dozens of other buses full of english people that will arrive safely in their hotels. I'm not saying Brazil is a safe place, I'm just saying that that kind of thing can happen anywhere, not only in Brazil.
New Site. . .
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
TO THE PATRIOTIC a*****e AND RABID ROBIN SUPPORTER:

First let me agree with what your detractor said. You are indeed a dip-s**t! Secondly I want the world to know that I am starting a website called Collombia.com. It is going to be the best thing since sliced bread - you can bet on it!

First I am going to hire an amateur-ish high school journalism teacher turned shameless real-estate agent who does nothing but spin tales of romance and mystery set in the picturesque cities of Cali and Medellin, or better yet, I will give her a vast stipend so she can travel about the Panamanian/Colombian border region chronicling her encounters with charming FARC guerrilla leaders named Carlos.

I will encourage her to sample the local delicacies, including deep fried bananas rolled in un-cut cocaine, or maybe that extra-special Collombian treat known as “Stockholm” gruel delivered piping cold every morning to her hostage hootch. She will have complete journalistic license to describe in the most graphic detail possible her experiences as a human pawn wherein her life is auctioned off to the highest bidder so that some 12 year-old boy might finally get that shiny new AK-47 he has been dreaming of. Of course no trip to Colombia would be complete without at least one shake down from FARC rebels or Colombian National Police. We will wait with bated breath for her final instalment complete with visceral descriptions of what it’s like to be drug from a bus by your hair only to be placed face down in the mud and threatened with a bullet to the back of the head by that same 12 year-old boy whose AK your ransom purchased.

As you can see there are all sorts of story lines for the adventurous reporter willing to tackle the “up and coming” Latin American powerhouse that is Collombia . . . Of course these scenarios, save the banana bit, are all actually quite plausible in Colombia. A friend and fellow mountaineer was actually kidnapped in Colombia 2 years ago but was “fortunate” enough to not have any living family who could pay his ransom so he was released. The point that the last poster was making, and the one I am making with much levity, is that there actually are people who have not been to Brazil yet – believe it or not! Some naïve Americans may actually buy into Robin’s bulls**t fairytales and decide to jump a plane for Rio or SP with a Rolex on their wrist and that new ultra-compact $1500 videocam dangling from their neck – oooops!! Even worse they may actually believe that they can enjoy the sea breeze on Copa beach at 11 P.M. and find out all too quickly that they will be relieved of everything but their underwear. The truth is that most people who write in still love Brazil but they also have a healthy, realistic respect for the BAD side of Brazil. I would not advise someone from Brazil to go prancing about the streets of Gary, Indiana or East St. Louis without giving them fair warning. That is all were saying guy!! Now you get f**king real or don’t bother feeding this bulls**t ok?
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
"So what? s**t happens.."

Jesus man!! That is a fact - s**t happens, but where Americans and Europeans are concerned (the vast majority of foreign readers on this site) s**t happens much, much more often in Brazil than it does back in Buttf**k, Idaho or Noname, Iowa or even jolly old England or Argentina or Chile or Uruguay or Costa Rica . . . get the point?
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
Any poster who has never had their credit card/ATM cloned or stolen, been robbed at gunpoint or rolled on the beach in Brazil say "I"
Seriously - just curious
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
"So what? s**t happens... there will be dozens of other buses full of english people that will arrive safely in their hotels. I'm not saying Brazil is a safe place, I'm just saying that that kind of thing can happen anywhere, not only in Brazil."


LOL, well, it sure as hell seems to happen a helluva lot more here in brazil than most ALL other places.....why is that dip-s**t?
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
"Any poster who has never had their credit card/ATM cloned or stolen, been robbed at gunpoint or rolled on the beach in Brazil say "I"
Seriously - just curious"

Well, can't say that any of those have happened as of yet, BUT, have had my house robbed, by the maid and security guard, LOL, yep, the very guy I was paying to keep from getting robbed. AND, my best friend here in Brazil, an american, was murdered 4.5 years ago. Other than that, just the normal people banging car-doors into your car without a look or thought and the other 1000 inconsiderate and disrespectful things that are a matter of factly done throughout an "ordinary" day in northeast brazil.
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
had the debit card cloned and was robbed in Manaus . . .
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
Don't you think that it's a lot better to give suggestions or possible solutions instead of making nonsense smart-ass fairytales about nothing or calling other people dip-s**ts or patriotic a*****es?! Everyone is entitled to her/his own opinion about things.
...
written by Guest, April 17, 2006
Why do you judgmental people who seem bent on highlighting Brazil's worst characteristics frequent this site? Most if not all of you have obviously been there, for better or worse. What took you there? Why did you go? For fun? Business? If it was so unpleasant, why don't you just move on? Don't come to a site like this and call people dips**ts because they don't share your a*****e views. And if you think this girl's not worthy of being read, DON'T READ IT. Did I think it was a great article. No. It did nothing for me. But GOOD GOD, people, get a life.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, IS GOOD
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
I think people complain on this site because there's a glimmer of hope that things may get better in Brazil thats all. I believe it's called constructive criticism?
Well.....
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Would you not travel to Brasil if you read an article telling you about the dangers? You would. Wnat to know why? Because you think you are the king of the castle and nothing would happen to you. Who depends on Ms Sppark's article to know that Brasil has its dangers? Where are you living? In Mars? Be careful! There is a brasilian out there in the space.
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
LOL...no, there isn't. He came back when the rent came due in his primarily american "space hotel".

And no one here is talking about only showing the negatives, it's about showing REALITY, not just the positives, and not just the negatives, but the good with the bad....what's wrong with that?? Paining a REALISTIC picture of a place, and not some fairytale.
Re: New Site...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
HAHAHAHA!

Best. Post. Ever.
Hey website creator!
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
When you start your website...make sure you learn how to spell 'Colombia'. Thank you for illustrating my point with your ignorance!
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Does anybody ever wonder why Robin never responds to this childish tit-for-tat game? Because she's too busy moving on to her next experience which is sure to produce another article which will keep you kids entertained as you 'crank call' eachother with your anonymous, vile comments.
Re. Hey website creator..Post above
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Previous poster....You just didn´t get it did you..........
Just goes to show no matter how witty and creative the post, there´s always some dork that misses the punchline....

The post "New site.." was excellent, I loved it. Write more!

One of the many reasons why Sparky gets flak is not just because of her selective view of Brazil, it´s because of her literary skills. And she´s a professional writer? She´s the Cup Noodle (Pot Noodle) writer of instant articles, i.e. pour on boiling water and there´s the end product. It may say Chicken and Veg on the label but does it taste like it? I think not! Just as her stories claim to be about day to day Brazil. It´s all a bit different when you´ve got the Yankee Dollar in your pocket and you´re being paid to "slum it".
To quote Robin (or maybe it should be "Robbing" because that what she´s doing to my time), her articles are simply "No joke!".
Silas
DUMBEST HUMAN EVER!!!
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
"When you start your website...make sure you learn how to spell 'Colombia'. Thank you for illustrating my point with your ignorance!"

I wrote that post and have even been to COLOMBIA. FURTHERMORE YOU ARE THE DUMBEST HUMAN BEING I HAVE YET ENCOUNTERED ON THIS SITE, PERHAPS IN THIS WORLD -FOR REAL!!!!
BRAZZIL - COLLOMBIA - GET IT a*****e???? WHAT A f**kING RETARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Of course no trip to Colombia would be complete without at least one shake down from FARC rebels or Colombian National Police."

I guess it was a random accident that I spelled Colombia correctly in the excerpt above eh? DUMB ASS!!!!!!
Thank you for highlighthing the ignorance of the average human being....GOD HELP YOU. IMAGINE HOW MUCH HAS GONE OVER YOUR HEAD IN LIFE ALREADY . . . BOGGLES THE MIND!!! - Sorry to everyone for the shouting but I just cannot believe what a f**king idiot that person is!!
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
To quote Robin (or maybe it should be "Robbing" because that what she´s doing to my time), her articles are simply "No joke!".
LOL!!!
Re: Hey website creator!
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Are you kidding me?! This is Brazzil.com, the poster used Collombia.com- did you really not understand that?! Please tell me your post was a joke and if not, please assure me you will never procreate; there are too many dumbasses in the world as it is.
Hey
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
"When you start your website...make sure you learn how to spell 'Colombia'. Thank you for illustrating my point with your ignorance!"

Leave he or she who wrote this alone! They're just trying to be smart and engage in dialogue. So what if one thing slipped past him or her.
Well here\'s MY website:
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
I'm going to create a website called USSA.com, and its going to talk about how the stupid Americans only like to eat McDonalds and drive gas guzzlers and watch American Idol all the time. It will also talk about how they called fries "frredom fries" because they were mad at the French like wierdo dumbasses, and the website will feature black people being slaves and sold as slaves and picking cotton like slaves. Also on the website will be Bill CLinton getting his wang sucked by Janet Reno and then a scandal breaking loose. And most importantly the site will feature the Iraq war and how all of the Americans thought it was such a good idea to create a civil war in the Middle East.

YEs, it will encourage visitors to go to the USA and eat McDonald's, worry about what Britney Spears is doing and promote war in the Middle East.
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
LOL, well, maybe the editors of this site should just put a picture of a dalmation with one of those "100 yard stares", ya know, like when you see a dog and you know that he just isn't even close to knowing he's in this universe, lol.

Because the first time it really ever hit me that humans were actually animals was shortly after I arrived in brazil and saw numerous that were so uneducated, or ever even exprerienced anything close to education was shortly after I arrived here and experienced the brazilian gov'ts. top secret and largest success in the history of this country,
"estupidez para todos"!

...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Had my wallet stolen while chillin' on Copacabana beach...had my cell phone gingerly lifted while on a bus in Belo Horizonte. I still love Brazil!
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Many of the more agitated posters here are FAHTBs - Failure at home try Brasil.

Then they find they are failures in Brasil too, they exucse this by whinning about the 'Reality' of Brasil, how hard, s**t, violent, selfish,corrupt, incomeptent a society it is..

The love to jump on Robin Sparks and her fluff pieces, becuase its a chance to show the one thing they have in life, their bitterly earned experince of what Brasil is 'really' like - for someone who couldnt quite make in Kanas.

Its very funny, please keep it coming.
Prev. comment
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Please tell me the above genius is dyslexic. Or maybe he´s just a cupid stunt who can´t be bothered to check his smelling mistakes.
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
many of the agitated posters here are IKMCIFUBIDLTHIFAG's......(I Know My Country IS f**ked Up But I Don't Like To Hear It From A Gringo)
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
"many of the agitated posters here are IKMCIFUBIDLTHIFAG's......(I Know My Country IS f**ked Up But I Don't Like To Hear It From A Gringo)"

Yes, I know, it's very funny, please keep it coming.
set the record straight . .
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
I would actually love to see your site regarding the US!! Please try and display the same wit and candor when writing about it though. Done in the obviously angry, wounded and resentful tone that you employed just renders the reader bored and disinterested . . It is obvious that you are not very clever and that post was nothing more than an attempt to lash out at anyone. I understand.

A few points though:

1. The busiest McDonalds restaurants I have ever seen are in Barra da Tijuca and Sao Paulo -honest!

2. I am seeing an ever-increasing number of gas guzzlers in Brazil. Contrary to what is happening in than the US, Brazil is actually busy upgrading to Mitsubishi SUV's and Ford Pickups. Actually record number of economy cars are already on order in the US, including the ethanol based car manufactured in concert with a Brazilian company.

3. Slaves were an integral part of Brazilian society too, and unlike Brazil, slavery has been completely abolished in the US. How many people are still forced to work under threat of violence in Brazil?

4. Bill Clinton, even with his Oval Office Cohiba adventures AND .05% of his brain functioning, is still more respected and intelligent than your current president. IN fact Bill Clinton's Wang is more intelligent than Lula. You know it and Brazilians know it - period! Guess who would win if Clinton could run against Lula in the upcoming elections? - scary isn't it?

5. Approximately 50% of Americans thought the war with Iraq was a bad idea, and many that thought it was a good idea were lied to by scandalous politicians - something Brazilians must be intimately familiar with as your current president lies to you every single time he opens his mouth to deny prior knowledge of “Mensalao” . . See ignorant Brazilians like you are laboring under the impression that all Americans supported the war. To be honest I don't know one member of my family or any friends who voted for Bush or thought the war was a good idea. Oh BTW, how many Brazilian presidents have been impeached for stealing, lying and cheating?

God Willing our own president will be impeached. So I guess not ALL Americans think he is doing a good job or that the war was right. The difference between most Americans and Brazilians is that if you look at any blogs or alternate media sites you will see that 90% of them [Americans] speak negatively or critically about our own president and the condition of our own country. Brazilian's live in a dream world where everything is hunky dory, surf's up and there is plenty of bunda to go around. Unfortunately you have the highest gun murder rate in the world, millions upon millions of people are living on less than $2 dollars a day and direitos humanos for thieves and rapists are more important than actually punishing anyone. I’m sure everyone is more concerned if the murderous bastards who shot that nun are being treated humanely than if they actually see the inside of a prison cell – good for you Brazil!!

Yes – America is certainly fair game and I welcome any spoofs of our culture you can offer, only try to entertain us while doing so and don’t write while pissed – we can almost see you hitting the Backspace key in rapid fire succession because of your “angry-typing” typos. . . Relax and put some thought into it ok little fella?

P.S. – American Idol is viewed by millions of Brazilians and there is a new program called Latin American Idol coming soon. Also – Britney Spears held some of her biggest concerts in Brazil and has been in the top 20 for discs sold in Brazil for 7 years running – ironic huh? Please try and be a little less hypocritical when you write ok pal? Sure America is home to trash culture but it sure seems like Brazilians snap it up just as fast as Americans don’t you think?
Batman and Robin Sparks
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Robin Sparks once paired with Batman in Gotham city for a story about what took place in the famed town. Unfortunately, the Joker tried to make a pass at her in the elevator at Bruce Wayne's apartment. But worry not, when Robin finallly reached Bruce's floor, Batman emerged unmolested.

I'm Robin Sparks, signin' off for FOX News
yes very funny . . .
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Many of the more agitated posters here are FAHTBs - Failure at home try Brasil.

Then they find they are failures in Brasil too, they exucse this by whinning about the 'Reality' of Brasil, how hard, s**t, violent, selfish,corrupt, incomeptent a society it is..

The love to jump on Robin Sparks and her fluff pieces, becuase its a chance to show the one thing they have in life, their bitterly earned experince of what Brasil is 'really' like - for someone who couldnt quite make in Kanas.

SO which would you be? - a failure in the US (judging by your atrocious spelling and grammar I would say yes) or a failure in Brazil - or both? My money is on both. To keep the ball rolling let's just phrase it like this:
ICMIIAACMIIBESIAJAAAL
I Couldn't Make It In America And Couldn't Make It In Brazil Either So I Am Just An All Around Loser . . . Sound about right? Got canned from that job washing dishes in South Beach because you were too busy staring at clients' asses like a typical Brazilian safado and never learned how to juggle or you left streaks on those windshields you were washing na rua so now you are just f**ked aren't you??

And you:
"Yes, I know, it's very funny, please keep it coming."

One can almost see the drool running from the corner of your mouth while you clap your hands like one of those kids with Down Syndrome - except they are generally more focused than you. YeS KeEp iT CoMIng - sO VeRy FuNnY - Drrrrr. . .
AMERIKA
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
The media f**ks the USA over ever so badly. I went to France and people would say to me (in French b/c I don't make natives speak English like a bitch) "why does the USA hate France? Why the "freedom fries"? etc., etc. And all I could say is in response - while American music banged CONSTANTLY in the background mind you - was that "you f**king listen only to the media and have absoltutely no clue what is going on in the USA."

Of course, not all the people in Paris were dumb enough to think that the USA was all for the war in Iraq or any of the other bumbled s**t GWB has f**k'd up, but there were enought that jumped to conclusions to make it more than balance out the dumbass hicks in the USA who follow GWB.

The point is that there are an unfortunate number of ignorant morons who don't realize what the balls of the USA is really like- what makes it tick and what makes it the cultural capital of the world. IT'S BECAUSE DESPITE THE INEPT ADMINISTRATION WE HAVE FREE SPEECH AND BALLS. DEEZ NUTS SUCKAS! JEALOUSY'S A BITCH!
To look is an act of choice.
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
Lots-0-angry people on here. I was under the misguided impression this was a simple little article on a bed & breakfast in Santa Teresa, my bad. I suppose I need to surf the political sites so I can have some 'lite' reading.

Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
"DEEZ NUTS SUCKAS! "

What language is that?

Thank you grasshopper!!
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
OH god here we go again - it's the sage poster with the profound message for all us heathens. He must not spend much time here . . . LOL
...
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
"unbelievable quantities of food and beer"

Perfect. Coneheads in Brasil.

Tell them you're from France.
Re: set the record straight . .
written by Guest, April 18, 2006
And yet Lula is 1000 times more intelligent, successful and respected than you, fool.
wait
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
The article did mention favelas, and the edgyness that they can bring to a town after dark. Thus the story accurately mentions the bad with the good.
Seperately, I heard that Bogota is actually pretty nice town to visit. People in general are very nice there, I'm not sure about the rest of Colombia but they're probably nice there too.
Personally, I wouldn't mind doing some writing in El Salvador. Maybe I could some people there too, by providing them with news and keeping them aware of what's going on in their communities.

"Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race"
-Michael Jackson
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
for the love of christ, who's the LOSER who quoted a michael jackson song??? LMAO!

Yeah, "heal the world", especially those little boys he's molesting!
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
Micheal Jackson is a great American
Ahem
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
to "who's the LOSER.." etc:

Obviously you didn't listen to the lyrics. It's a wonderful song with a good tune and a fine message.
Separately, I'd like to reitterate that constructive criticism includes being constructive. Brazzil.com can be a site where people come to learn and grow and feel good about themselves and/or post articles about their experiences in the country. I already stated some of my viewpoints above, but to continue the constructive discussion I'd like to ask Ms. Sparks, who is in fact a fine writer, to next time share with us more details about the actual place she stayed. Perhaps other folks would enjoy visiting this place, but not the nearby favelas of course smilies/smiley.gif .
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
I've listened to that child molestors lyrics. He's a sick individula, and I'm american. He needs psychiatric help, I mean, come on man, how many little boys have accused the guy of molestation?? Even Corey Hames, think thats his last name, a famous child actor who is now adult, has given interviews stating how he would have pornography displayed in his house where he was "entertaining" children....sick, wouldn't you say?? Great american??? You must be another child molestor!
\'Rudeness is the weak man\'s imitation
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
I'll add one more: 'Anonymity is the blanket for cowards!'
So many of you who "spend much time here..." as this LOL seems to do, and who seem only capable of writing profanity and insults, I have a simple challenge for you. Why don't you try and write your own account of how you want to see Brazil portrayed and see iff you can get it officially published on this site? Sure, it's easy to stay under your blankets like a 9 year old reading his big brother's dirty magazines in the middle of the night with a flashlight...waiting for Robin or anyone else to come out with a new story so you can just bash it! Where are your true convictions, if you have any? Why don't you stop criticizing what other people do and just do it yourself? You say that Robin has terrible grammer, confused facts, her own agenda, and paints a fairytale picture of Brazil. So, put you skills to the test and do it yourself, if you can! It seems to me that the editors of this site will print any article that is well written and relevant? How about you LOL, show us that you are more than just a drive- by shooter who runs from the crime scene and rushes home to watch the evening news to see the damage you caused. Show us you aren't just some kid who gets his rocks off by sabotaging an otherwise informative and enjoyable website by cussing and crying! Have something meaningful to say and get it published. Otherwise, people will know your true identity...just another coward afraid of stepping outside. Remember dude, you just gave yourself away, "He must not spend much time in here..." You must be very proud of your dedication to this site, and to Robin. Congradulations, but now its time to put up or shut up!
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
AMEN! Waiting for someone to say that!
If there is a curse word in their first sentence...you know you got under their skin.
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
"I'll add one more: 'Anonymity is the blanket for cowards!"

well, you're the one barking toto, do you practice what you preach or just try and come off as some condescending joker?

Put up your personal details muffy!!
Alright then
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
Fine, if you must know, here are my personal details:

Robin Sparks
www.robinsparks.com
Robin..
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
as has been stated here, over and over. Your portrayal of brazil certainly does not show the brazilian reality. It takes more than a few weeks in a place staying in tourist spots to know a country.

What many have stated here, are from foreigners that actually LIVE here, have businesses here, have family here. It certainly appears that if you're simply promoting your own personal agenda when you completely ignore the "dangers" that exist and only talk about situations through the blindness of a tourist. It would be much the same if someone were to write an article about america based on his experiences at Disney World, as if this is america's reality.

When promoting any country, one should make others aware of the benefits, and things to watch out for and be careful of. Things that you obviously have chosen to ignore, and apparently due to the fact of the other "agendas" you apparently have.
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
ok, here are my details.


Antonio Carlos Magalhães

www.imathief.com
Alright then
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
I've taken what you've said in to serious consideration and, I have decided to quit writing. I intend to go back to school and study hospitality and hotel management, most likely at the University of California at Berkeley. Thank you for your concern and your criticism.

-Robin
What she didnt tell you
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
Carlos was a large brown Monkey
LOL
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
I know that LOL means: Lie On Lie
re: Alright Then
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
Well for the love of god, don't get a job with Hotel 6 and start writing as if it's the Beverly Hilton!!
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
"I've taken what you've said in to serious consideration and, I have decided to quit writing."

That's a good first step, at least "professionally".
STOP THIS NOW
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
Could you people kindly STOP this immediately.
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
YES!!! If she and her like can stop this immediately!
Robin . .
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
Robin, might I suggest that you continue writing but do so independently - sans affiliation with EscapeArtist.com. I think writing about themes like foreign travel could be done in a much more provocative and constructive way without being overshadowed by your relationship with that company. I don't think they are held in the highest esteem and that may negatively impact your readership. In addition you are naturally limited in how you can present a country when it is not in the interest of EscapeArtist, and therefore not in your best interest to present it 100% accurately. You have done a wonderful job portraying Brazil as some kind of panacea for overworked Americans, but you can be a much greater catalyst for change by digging deeper and exposing Brazil's "wrongs" (alongside its positives) in hope that some reader somewhere will take notice. Please consider this in all seriousness. The world we live in requires more of people than pandering to wealthy ex-pats. You seem socially responsible - write it!
Thanks for the posts.
...
written by Guest, April 19, 2006
the above poster is "spot on". If you continue to be a "sell out", get the f**k out, if you change your mind, then take some writing classes or something that will transcend this "paco was coming on to me" adolescent bulls**t!
Alright then, again
written by Guest, April 22, 2006
Thank you to the readers who enjoyed my post. The rest of you I choose to ignore. I will continue writing and will not be deterred by pathetic comments.
I´ll be posting my next instalment soon so stay tuned!
Check out my site and enjoy!

Robin Sparks
www.robinsparks.com
...
written by Guest, April 22, 2006
Robin keep up the good work writing about your positive experiences in Brazil. I thought that this was a website for people that loved and wanted to know more about Brazil but it's filled with angry,Brazil bashers. You're smart in ignoring these ignorant posters because they really have nothing POSITIVE to contribute to this message board.
Negative Comments
written by Guest, April 23, 2006
All the same, Carlos emerged unmolested
CENSORSHIP
written by Guest, April 23, 2006
THERE USED TO BE MORE POSTS HERE. BRAZZIL.COM MAY HAVE ERASED THEM. CENSORHIP!
...
written by Guest, April 24, 2006
" I will continue writing and will not be deterred by pathetic comments."

And we'll continue reading, and will not be deterred by pathetic articles!
Hey
written by Guest, April 24, 2006
"And we'll continue reading, and will not be deterred by pathetic articles!"

Robin's a better writer than you, dicknose!
Deal wit it!
Actually, for you ignorant people...
written by Guest, April 24, 2006
Robin's articel here and others elsewhere are not intended to be straight-to-the point, boring journalism. Robin is what's known as a "gonzo" journalist. She reveals the true story without saying specifically what it is while writing in a laid-back, personal fashion.
...
written by Guest, April 24, 2006
"gonzo"....he was one of the three stooges wasn't he??
...
written by Guest, April 24, 2006
jesus...what a group!! LOL!
...
written by Guest, April 25, 2006
"Robin's articel here and others elsewhere are not intended to be straight-to-the point, boring journalism."

Well that is partially true - they don't have a point - EVER but they certainly are boring. I guess 50% aint bad . . .
...
written by Guest, April 25, 2006
"Well that is partially true - they don't have a point - EVER but they certainly are boring. I guess 50% aint bad . . ."

I don't understand what your problem is. She described the neighborhood, warned that there are dangerous parts and even threw in some Brazilian dishes - aside from letting travlers know about the beautiful castle. By the way, to all the real adventure seekers out there, there are several excellent travel agencies that can found all over the net, not to mention Robin's website. Enjoy!
...
written by Guest, April 25, 2006
Robin has the American talent of talking alot with saying anthing, I now give myself about 5 mins with many of this common type of American (the type that can has vocab of more than 40 words) before having to walk away in exasparation - how so much hot air can have so little meaning it is worthy of an anthropologic study.

Saying that Lost is a quite cool show.
...
written by Guest, April 25, 2006
Robin has the American talent of talking alot with saying anthing, I now give myself about 5 mins with many of this common type of American (the type that can has vocab of more than 40 words) before having to walk away in exasparation - how so much hot air can have so little meaning it is worthy of an anthropologic study.

Saying that Lost is a quite cool show.
babbling americans
written by Guest, April 26, 2006
Yes it is true most americans babble but in some parts of the country you can't get people to say a f**king word. I am living in the midwest (not from here), and sometimes it seems you would have to use a crowbar to open peoples mouths for more that five words if they don't already know you. I guess it's the difference between rio and say minas. Speaking of that most brazilians are babblers also....
...
written by Guest, April 27, 2006
ARE YOU KIDDING?? Brazilians have the biggest f**king mouths in the world. The only time they stop is when they have a c**k in them and as most Brazilian men appear to be gay that goes for men and women.
riobrad
written by Guest, May 08, 2006
Hearing this s**t from so many from the USSA confirms my decision to move to Brazil.I always enjoy your pieces from Brazil. I just got back after a month and will move there in Oct. Adios Cali.....
...
written by Guest, May 12, 2006
Adios riobrad. The "USSA" is minus one dips**t.
LIE ON LIE
written by Guest, May 17, 2006
LIE ON LIE
thanks, you all.
written by Guest, May 20, 2006
Migraine is something terrible and my doctor said I should take lots of medecines.
That was to no avail.
However, I happened to start reading all these nonsenses you all write and couldn´t stop laughing.
Please, go on.
hahahahahahaha!!!

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